Wedding invitation, customs abound

What an honour to have been invited to 3 Nepali weddings in the last 6 months. The first was a huge culture shock for us. Manju, some of you have read about her on an earlier blog, invited us to the first.

Manju getting ready for some dancing. A natural performer.

We hadn't met either the bride or groom but I had been given a glass of buffalo milk by her mother while helping with the rice harvest. A slim connection, but I was assured that the invitation was genuine. The first thing that struck us as odd was that the invitation is verbally given about 2 weeks before the wedding. This surprised us, when you think about the long run up to most weddings in the UK. The truth is that most Nepali marriages are arranged , and once agreed by the father of the bride it is only a matter of days before the invitation is issued. Most couples meet only once prior to the day of celebrations. The second surprise is that there isn't a fixed time to attend as the occasion can last up to 3 days. The third difference made us both feel a little uneasy. We are accustomed to smiling faces, joyous mood, speeches and general merriment. This experience made me feel alarmingly sad. The bride looked in shock and the groom not very much brighter. However the day was fascinating and I later learnt that a shy and modest countenance is expected of the bride and anything else would seem very wrong.

Simon being given a lesson in Topi styling.

The groom arrives in the midst of a procession, under an umbrella.

The young couple meet. Rituals of feet washing and puja (worship) are held in the front of the bride's house.

Muna, one of our Community Mobilisers, gave us our second invitation to her own wedding. Again with little notice and we had no idea in the office that anything was afoot! However there was a whisper that this was a love match. There is still little or no courtship although this young couple had met at Muna's brother's wedding.

Muna waiting serenely.

Muna  giving tika to a Brahman  priest while she and her father do their ritual puja..

Receiving gifts, puja and good wishes from friends and family.

Our team looked resplendent in their sari's and finery. Muna looked stunning and even gave us a few cheeky smiles.

Then came the third surprise. I went into the office one day and the good news of the day was that Anju was to be married. This was quite unexpected as she is a very independent and ambitious young woman who as well as her role as Community Mobiliser also works at the local radio station early most mornings. This was an arranged marriage but our Sister's for Sisters team know her suitor. He is the Assistant Head Teacher of one of our schools, a very nice young man, but they had only met once on a bus. As with all Nepali people they are expected to marry within their ethnic group. Gurungs are no exception. Dinnesh sought Anju's father's permission and within 3 weeks they were married. Simon, Ann, my VSO colleague, and I decided to walk to her village as our office were unable to arrange transport. We set off at 7 am with the intention of getting there before the heat really built up. However it wasn't long before we were drenched and the 3 hour walk was tough going. Ann and I had luckily experienced arriving at schools and needing a change of clothes so we were prepared and found a friendly lady who let us strip off in her front yard. She looked a little startled and I am sure that we were the talk of the village for our brazen but practiced change! We soon found the wedding party by following the sound of chatter through this lovely Gurung village. The yellow tent made photography difficult.

Our first sight of the yellow tent and relaxed atmosphere.

Gurung customs include donations of rupees being tucked into the headpiece.

They were into the second day of celebrations so we had missed some of the cultural wedding customs. The young couple were sitting quietly receiving good wishes, tika and gifts from friends and family. It was wonderful to take the weight off our feet and watch another type of ceremony and enjoy excellent Gurung hospitality.

Friends of the bride and groom sit sentry to Anju and Dinnesh.

This little 3 year old girl, so beautifully dressed, behave impeccably.

Subdued dancing accompanied by ladies singing, and a local drummer!.

So many delightful faces ensures that man-watching is fascinating.

Anju's mother.

These faces have seen many tough years but strong community living. 

Adorned with tika and splendor.

This is proper finger food to fuel our return walk. Thank you Ann for letting me use this great photo.

A farmer is ready with a hook.. "Just in case I need to help cut vegetables", he told me!

Our decent was made easier with the help of 2 young boys who acted as guides through the jungle. We were tired but all very happy that we had made the effort to go to Anju and Dinnesh's wedding ceremony and honoured to have been invited. A very special occasion and we wish them a very happy life together.